New Beginnings

Lori Tschetter, CSW, Agnesian Bereavement Specialist
I can do it

Change. How can it be that one simple word can cause such fear and unease in people? Change is good, right? I mean, isn’t that what we are told?

Over the past couple months, I’ve had to deal with change. Too much, if you ask me. Due to relocations, I’ve had to say goodbye to several close friends. One has moved to another city, one is moving to another state, and then there are my friends who made the life decision to move their family to another country. I’m talking, halfway around the world, no possible way to get to them if needed, other country. (OK, yes, I could fly...if I sold my car). Life has taken them in all different directions. We will stay in touch, of course. Of that I have no doubt. But it’s not the same. And it’s something I can’t control. Change.

The “icing on my cake” is that in just a couple days, my baby girl will be turning four. How can that be possible? I’m not ready for that. Where has the time gone, and why don’t I get to have a say in this? Yet again, life continues to move along, even when I’m not ready for it. Change.

Without question, change is something that all of us experience. There is no way around it. Sure, we might try to fight it, prolong it or hide from it, but change is sneaky. It always finds us, whether we are ready or not. So, what do we do, knowing that at any moment change can uproot the safe and secure world we’ve created for ourselves?

1) Relinquish the hold that change has over you. Don’t fight it. Change is going to happen one way or another. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we perceive it and how we choose to work with/through it.

2) Take care of yourself. Know that it’s OK to cry, to feel sad/ angry/confused/unsure. Ask for help when you need it. And if you need space, know that it’s OK to want some alone time. Take the time you need for you.

3) When you are ready, look for hope. Trust and have faith that, at some point, you will be able to take that next step forward. It will come. It may not be easy, and it may not be right away, but it will come.

And so that is what I am going to do. I’m going to improve my long distance correspondence, including getting back in touch with my “snail mail” skills, and teaching my kids the joy of having “pen pals.” And I’m going to enjoy the four-yearold celebration we will have - cake, presents and little girl smiles. Will I shed some tears along the way? Yes. But I remind myself those tears are there because of the amazing love and friendships I have been so fortunate to have.

“Don’t be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning.” - Joyce Meyer

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